It’s been some time since I wrote on the blog as we are at the tail end of our off season. As weddings will soon be upon us, Joel and I generally like to focus on planning for our upcoming season as well as putting some time into personal projects.
As many of you know, we have two children, Emelia (7 years old) and Judah (4 years old), who both bring us great joy and at times some frustration (cue the Play-Doh explosions and sibling fighting). I was just thinking Emelia’s 1st grade year is already flying by and before we know it, she’ll be 16 and asking for the keys to the car. So in my parental sadness and inability to slow down time, I decided to capture Emelia just how she is now. She’s my little muse and often she is just as excited about projects that we’re doing or will be working on a project of her own. Asking her to be my model one rainy day was not even a question for her. She was just happy to be a part of creating something together.
Now, my purpose for this series wasn’t to grab a few cute shots of her in a new outfit in the studio. I wanted to do something more creative and not capture the typical school photo snapshot. When I look at the photos now, they really speak to me of my current realization. I love my daughter. That isn’t a sudden realization. I have loved her since I first knew she existed. She is one of the kindest little people I know and genuinely has a heart for others. I can teach her kindness, but love ultimately comes from God. My realization is that here she is, tender hearted and innocent, but I’m on the verge of witnessing her life advance at a very rapid pace. This may be the last year she believes in Santa, holds my hand in public, or asks me to sing her to sleep at night. It’s inevitable that she may learn, experience, or see something from the outside world that shatters her innocence and altruistic thinking.
Of course the mom side of me is crushed with the heavy weight of knowing she’s growing up too fast and one day she will leave me and be out of the house. Though to save myself from falling into an ice-cream binge of hopelessness and NOT make this the most depressing blog that I have ever written, there is hope. I am so blessed to witness the amazing person she is already becoming. Yes, she will leave me sooner than I would like to think, but knowing that me being her mother will never change (not in a million years) and putting my trust in God comforts me. We come across moms of high school seniors saying, “cherish these times with your child.” Well, it is certainly true. And I realize how often I haven’t cherished our moments together as life gets too busy at times to even remember what’s most important. So call it an epiphany, feeling nostalgic, humbled, God knocking on my door, or even, “Hey I was just a little bored one day and thought it would be cool do this photo shoot with my daughter.” Regardless, it helped remind me just how important it is to cherish.